In the great book "13 things mentally strong people don't do"

The author of this book wrote about her traumatic experience, she said:

"When I was twenty-three, my mother died suddenly from a brain aneurysm.
She’d always been a healthy, hardworking, vibrant woman who had loved life
right up until her last minute on earth. In fact, I saw her the night before she
died. We met at an auditorium to watch a high school basketball tournament. She
was laughing, talking, and enjoying life like she always did. But just twenty-four
hours later she was gone. The loss of my mother affected me deeply. I couldn’t
imagine going through the rest of my life without her advice, laughter, or love."

She followed:
"At the time, I was working as a therapist at a community mental health center,
and I took a few weeks off to privately deal with my grief. I knew I couldn’t be
effective at helping other people unless I was able to productively deal with my
own feelings.

Becoming used to a life that no longer included my mother was a
process. It wasn’t easy, but I worked hard to get myself back on my feet.

my training as a therapist, I knew that time doesn’t heal anything; it’s how we
deal with that time that determines the speed at which we heal. I understood that
grief was the necessary process that would eventually alleviate my pain, so I
allowed myself to feel sad, to get angry, and to fully accept what I’d truly lost
when my mother passed away. It wasn’t just that I missed her—it was also the
painful realization that she would never be there again during the important
events in my life and that she would never experience the things she’d looked
forward to—like retire from her job and become a grandmother. With supportive
friends and family, and my faith in God, I found a sense of peace; and as life
went on, I was able to remember my mother with a smile, rather than with pangs
of sadness "


Allowing ourselves to feel grief, sorrow and pain, is definitely one of the most important factors for us to overcome our hard feelings, we're all guilty of trying to ignore/skip or exit pain, and I'm guilty of that too, in fact I wasted years of my life thinking I became stable again, turns out I wasn't, I was just making myself busy and putting my head into a screen all the time.

When I realized this, I had to start all over again.

We have to accept that we are human beings, we can't be happy all the time, and life won't be bright everyday, we'll go through dark moments, but these dark moments are what shapes us the most, they are the reason we grow.

We have to allow ourselves to feel sorrow, pain, sadness, and we have to know that are feelings are temporary, and that they're gonna fade away eventually, but we could keep is the lessons we've learnt.

I owe too much to all the painful situations I've been through, I even can't be thankful enough, because they are the reason behind everything I'm having today, and if life gave me a choice, I'd choose to feel pain all over again, to learn and grow.

So allow yourself to feel grief, and know that when you're old enough, you'll be thankful for these sad moments, for the impact they've created was significant.

Hope this was helpful, I really wish you a great happy life, and thanks for your precious time.

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